I’ve always taken the saying “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all” with a grain of salt. It’d be pretty cool if I had some compelling reason for this… buuut I don’t. I’m stubborn. That covers it. A motto I’d prefer is “if you don’t have anything good to say, don’t say anything at all.” This is not a standard I’ll pretend I adhere to, but at least it gives a more reasonable amount of room. There are plenty of situations when something not-so-nice but extremely important needs to be said. There are lots of times when saying something harsh would be good compared to saying nothing.
Now is not one of those times. Lately I’ve had a lot of papers – ranging from two to thirty eight pages long – to work on for classes. This is always a reminder that as much as I like writing, I hate writing when I don’t get to pick the subject, length, and format. Hate it. Usually, having to write something I don’t care about makes me want to write something I do care about, but that’s not the case right now. So what am I writing for, you might ask.
Nothing. I’m realizing that my motivations for writing are often negative ones. Something I read online was so idiotic that I needed to put in my two cents. An article in The Miami Student was too assinine to ignore. But as I start to reflect more on graduating, counting the days to unemployment, and not wasting my life, I wonder if anything I’ve written has been worth more than what I intended to counter.
I can’t say. I can’t say, which sucks quite a bit considering the time and effort I’ve put into writing over the past several years. Words of encouragement from the right mouths go an incredibly long way, but have they actually been more than words? Have I encouraged or brightened the days of people I care about, or are said people just too sweet to tell me I’m boring?
It’s quite the thing to wrestle with. Maybe in a few days or weeks or months something will work me up sufficiently to make me stop wondering. I sort of hope not. We hear more than enough stupid things from stupid people; I’d like to never write again if I’m one of those people. As far as current events and politics go, some good news: a Rabbi punched a Nazi in the face in Kansas City. I’m sorry, but that’s excellent. Unless you’re the Nazi, in which case you sucked to begin with and deserve some slapping around.