The big things are what I notice, but the little ones are what I feel. Yeah, graduation, it’s a big deal. Being a person who stops and thinks about most everything, I continue to think about graduation and what exactly it means. And it’s funny, too, if you look at my past seven days. A week ago tonight I was sleeping on couch cushions on my bedroom floor in Oxford, having sent my bed home with my parents last Friday. Sunday night I drove home and have been sleeping here since, with the exception of Tuesday night and last night, when I was with friends in Columbus.
I’ve been doing a lot of driving between school and home and interviews, and that means plenty of time to think. As much as I try, I can’t get worked up about graduation or the fact that there are a lot of people from school who I’ll never see again. Those are big things. They should, and do, matter. Same goes for job interviews and the realization that when (if?) I find a job, it’s going to be 40-hour weeks from here on out. I know all of this is important, but I just don’t care.
Stupid things are what I care about right now. Possibly as a result of being in this post-college whatever-it-is, I am apathetic about all but the weirdest things. Driving back from Columbus this afternoon, I remembered how unabashedly I love American Hi-Fi‘s self titled CD. Something about the way that first track opens up through the car speakers makes it worth having the window down, even though I’ll have to close it in four minutes when I drive back into the rain. I can’t think of a better vent for dumb frustration over stupid things than a noisy old album from a band that’s now only popular in Japan.
Another one – as I wonder when I’ll be able to schedule a haircut appointment, since I don’t know where I’ll be living this time next week – is my face. I’m not a huge fan of my face, but it does the job. However, the prospect of full-time employment concerns me that I may have to start shaving every day. It’s enough to make me wish I were a real nerd; someone with genius and not just a halfway talented business guy. Then maybe I could get away with stubble. To be honest, I’m going to try and get away with it no matter what, cause the thought of having a naked face all the time is not something I enjoy.
And this is what I’m reduced to. As much as I like taking pointless tangents, I’m starting to think I’ve been avoiding a different subject. So who knows how long it’ll be before I have a coherent train of thought fit for tying to words. On that note… go to Griffin House‘s website and thank God some of us have guts for dealing with more serious things.