Hipster Doofusry

I finally scheduled an appointment to have new tires put on my car, having talked myself into and back out of looking for a 2008 BMW to finance at 0.9% several times over. Since the lobby of Discount Tire is clearly not designed for “hanging out” – they have space for a display of racing slicks, but the waiting area consists of half a dozen chairs crammed in a corner – I went to Starbucks in hopes of finding free wi-fi. Surely an hour at Starbucks couldn’t kill me… right?

I have never once entered a Starbucks without being made to feel like an idiot. I asked about wi-fi, which apparently takes a registered Starbucks card. I didn’t even ask if that cost anything. I’m carrying around a MacBook these days and certainly don’t need my name in a Starbucks database, too. After I paid the guy who took my order and he wandered off, I realized I was supposed to wait near the little round thing at the end of the counter. I was disappointed but not surprised to see that $2.50 at Starbucks gets you a hot chocolate that’s roughly the size of a children’s Frosty. Then again, if you know what size a children’s Frosty is you’re probably not Starbucks’s target demographic.

In Europe are all the tables extremely tiny? Is Europe where Starbucks picked that up from? I am sitting at a table with three chairs around it, and it’s like a TV tray. It’s as if all the furniture in this place was designed by Lilliputians. +10 points to Mac for their dictionary’s simple and shiny confirmation of the spelling of Lilliputian. -100 points from EA for blocking me from playing Spore Creature Creator without an internet connection.

[Update: Typos, begone. Who misspells “Frosty” – seriously!]

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