Exurban League made up a funny potential Obama response to the captive standoff with pirates off the coast of Somalia:
For too long, America has been too dismissive of the proud culture and invaluable contributions of the Pirate Community. Whether it is their pioneering work with prosthetics, husbandry of tropical birds or fanciful fashion sense, America owes a deep debt to Pirates.
The past eight years have shown a failure to appreciate the historic role of these noble seafarers. Instead of celebrating their entreprenuerial spirit and seeking to partner with them to meet common challenges, there have been times where America has shown arrogance and been dismissive, even derisive.
I laugh because I’d prefer not to cry; the parody works so well because it strikes familiar chords from the Obama songbook.
Meanwhile, why are the pirates still breathing? Their captive Captain Richard Phillips made a break for it, but didn’t get very far:
Around midnight local time, Phillips jumped off the lifeboat and began swimming, but was recaptured, according to Defense Department officials speaking on condition of anonymity because they are not authorized to talk about unfolding operations.
Sailors on the USS Bainbridge, which is patrolling nearby, were able to see Phillips moving around and talking after his return to the lifeboat, and the Defense Department officials think he is unharmed.
I would hope that if American troops are afforded any opportunity to neutralize the pirates without harming Captain Phillips, they’ll do so. Then again, we bankroll Palestine… so why not warm-and-fuzzify our response to piracy and throw these poor Somalis a bone, too?
[Update: added the link for the second quote.]