IMAO – Prettier Than Olbermann is a frightening place inhabited by frightening people. Not only do they talk regularly about guns – as if modern man has any right or need to own a firearm! – they have a tendency to discuss dinosaurs. As you may know, science will soon progress to the point where we can put together just about anything given a few strands of DNA. When this happens wild men like those at IMAO will be at the forefront, clamoring for giant genetically engineered lizards to strap lasers and rocket launchers upon.

Before we’ve hurtled off that precipice, it is our responsibility as Americans to bring IMAO into the mainstream by nurturing an ongoing and constructive dialogue. If there is one thing the first two months of this majestic and historifical presidential administration have taught us, it’s that offering bewildering platitudes is the way to win friends and influence people. To that end, I would like to present with the inaugural edition of the Prettier Than Olbermann award:


They may not literally be Prettier Than Olbermann, but it would probably be close if you took away Keith Olbermann’s hair and makeup crew. And assigned that hair and makeup crew to the team. And knocked back a few cheap cold ones.

Let’s hope this works, because if bad people who disagree with us can’t be silenced with lip service then we’ll have to call them racists, and then pretend they don’t exist while our allies harangue / sue them.

[Update: Typo in the second paragraph. Begone, improper tense usage!]

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