The Obama Doctrine

President Bush wasn’t always clear about why he made the decisions he made. President Obama is better than President Bush, because he can give a 50 minute speech about any old topic but he can also summarize all the important issues into simple precepts.

Foreign policy: If they hate us, kiss their asses harder.

Domestic policy: Spend. Spend. Spend. Has anyone thought about, maybe, spending?

Freedom: No. Let the Government take care of that. Freedom is for racists.

  • Are you rich? You owe everyone who isn’t. President Obama will decide how much income is enough, and tax the rest of it so hard.
  • Are you a corporation? You’d better be unionized, by golly. Corporations are evil, but unions are the coolest.
  • Do you have health insurance? You’re going to. Do you like your private insurance? Pfft.

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