Hours, nay, half-days from now, history will look back upon this entry with the utmost of respectful disinterest.
I’ve always taken the saying “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all” with a grain of salt. It’d be pretty cool if I had some compelling reason for this… buuut I don’t. I’m stubborn. That covers it. A motto I’d prefer is “if you don’t have anything good to say, don’t say anything at all.” This is not a standard I’ll pretend I adhere to, but at least it gives a more reasonable amount of room. There are plenty of situations when something not-so-nice but extremely important needs to be said. There are lots of times when saying something harsh would be good compared to saying nothing.
Now is not one of those times. Lately I’ve had a lot of papers – ranging from two to thirty eight pages long – to work on for classes. This is always a reminder that as much as I like writing, I hate writing when I don’t get to pick the subject, length, and format. Hate it. Usually, having to write something I don’t care about makes me want to write something I do care about, but that’s not the case right now. So what am I writing for, you might ask.
Nothing. I’m realizing that my motivations for writing are often negative ones. Something I read online was so idiotic that I needed to put in my two cents. An article in The Miami Student was too assinine to ignore. But as I start to reflect more on graduating, counting the days to unemployment, and not wasting my life, I wonder if anything I’ve written has been worth more than what I intended to counter.
I can’t say. I can’t say, which sucks quite a bit considering the time and effort I’ve put into writing over the past several years. Words of encouragement from the right mouths go an incredibly long way, but have they actually been more than words? Have I encouraged or brightened the days of people I care about, or are said people just too sweet to tell me I’m boring?
It’s quite the thing to wrestle with. Maybe in a few days or weeks or months something will work me up sufficiently to make me stop wondering. I sort of hope not. We hear more than enough stupid things from stupid people; I’d like to never write again if I’m one of those people. As far as current events and politics go, some good news: a Rabbi punched a Nazi in the face in Kansas City. I’m sorry, but that’s excellent. Unless you’re the Nazi, in which case you sucked to begin with and deserve some slapping around.
I know you’re all wondering, as the millions of fans of any famous person would, what exactly is going on here. Several entries to the journal in as many days… a lack of updates to the rest of the site – which, by now, is probably less than surprising. Am I turning into a blogger? Am I leaving behind my simple roots as a movie reviewer/CD reviewer/mediocre essay and poetry writer for the people? The answer to the first question would be, “no, not really.” Actually, that would probably be the answer to the second question, too, if I were to bother responding to such a dumb question.
I’ve been trying to find a “job.” Fellow college students, perhaps you, too, have heard of this fabled item. From what I gather, it’s something that takes about 8 hours out of 5 days of every week for the rest of your life (more, if you pick the wrong kind of “job”). In return you get money to buy a new car when you feel like it, and you don’t have to become a penniless wino or continue going to school forever (to be honest, I’m not sure which would be worse).
So, anyway, spring break is next week and graduation is two months from yesterday. If you happen to own a company in Columbus that is looking to pay a new MIS graduate around $30 grand a year for doing stuff, be sure to let me know. Or if you wield control over someone who owns a company in Columbus that is looking to pay $30 grand a year for new-MIS-graduate stuff, well, wield ’em my direction. I’d especially like to work for The Ohio State University, because they are cool and I could get discounted football tickets, so if you’re a big donor or the president’s niece or something, put in the good word. Thanks.
Until then, the site will continue to be the tangled up ball of goofiness you’ll expect if you’ve read anything here before. Hopefully I will find new and interesting things to say and do. More hopefully, I will stop saying and doing things that are not new or interesting. We’ll see how that goes.