Tag: Humor

As we begin the second month of Soak the Rich, we start with another fun soakee: Microsoft! Bill Gates is a generous guy, so I’m sure he wouldn’t mind if his corporation’s taxes were doubled and his CEO’s pay whisked away for Sherrod Brown and Barack Obama to dole out.

We’re now a month into our thought experiment testing Sherrod Brown’s bold new fiscal policy: why cut spending when you can soak the rich?

Come on, voters! If Sherrod Brown and Barack Obama only double taxes on the evilest corporations, we might have to cut spending! Obviously, that’s out of the question.

Unlike last week’s dicey proposition of doubling corporate income taxes and taking CEO pay from Cincinnati-based Procter & Gamble, today’s episode of Soak the Rich is an easy sell. Who wouldn’t like to see AT&T pay their fair share to support the massive entitlement spending beloved by Sherrod Brown and Barack Obama?

If these extreme measures won’t work, there’s a tiny chance Sherrod Brown is either ignorant or dishonest to claim the budget could be balanced by making The Rich pay their fair share!

Now that we’re down to Procter & Gamble, the 6th-largest corporation in the S&P 500 index, Sherrod’s traveling class-warfare act starts to get difficult.

If there’s one thing Sherrod Brown is good at (note: Sherrod Brown is awesome at all sorts of things), it’s taxing the wealthy… so higher market capitalization means increased taxes plus a good tongue-lashing to boot!

As an avid fan of Senator Sherrod Brown’s practiced class warfare routine, I was disappointed to learn that one week of soaking the biggest corporations in the S&P 500 index wasn’t enough to fill the U.S. government’s $1.62 trillion budget deficit. Mercifully, there are no shortage of bad, successful corporations left to penalize!

A capitalist would ask whether raising Chevron’s taxes will, in turn, increase the price of oil & natural gas – and by extension, everything connected to energy & transportation. Stupid capitalist!

For every unmarketable green-energy product GE peddles to federal bureaucrats, there’s another bad, profitable wing of the company. On behalf of Senator Sherrod Brown, let’s help Washington’s favorite conglomerate spread those profits around!